[This story won the Inaugural Nicholas Shand-Beach Hotel short story competition in 1997, was published in the Byron Shire Echo, 9 September 1997 and recently recorded on BayFM radio 18 November 2011 on Pip Morrissey’s book program.]
A Happily Married Man
[908 words]
I was waiting for her when she came out of the Chinese restaurant. I called to her from the shadow of the pile of lumber that stood beside the hardware store in the main side street of the small country town.
“What do you want?” She sounded frightened, as if talking to me was a crime for which someone might punish her — which was not so far from the truth now; I’ve heard the stories about how that he’s treating her.
I just stood there. I heard the XPT whistle at the level crossing that traversed the main street one block to the east of us. The XPT whistled twice; still, I didn’t answer. I wanted to tell her I was going to save her, that I’d had a message, so clear, perfectly pure and beautiful, and that after tonight we’d be together again the way we used to be. But I couldn’t say anything.
Crystal’s eyes followed the line of hills to the west and the little barred clouds. It was high summer and, although it was almost eight, it was still daylight.
“Why don’t you just go away and leave us alone? I don’t owe you anything,” she said.
The angel’s wings were white.
The angel’s voice was golden.
“I have a message from the Lord,” he told me.
And here I am.
The track led downwards to the bottom of the valley where the creek ran through it. As you approached the shack from the last hill all you could see was the roof, and the trees with the vines dangling from them. If the wood stove in the lean-to was lit you’d see smoke drifting through the clearing.
Some nights I’d wake up beside Crystal in our shack in the valley. The moon would be shining through the branches, the dog would be lying before the dying wood stove with one eye open, and someone would be pounding on iron a long way up the creek. In those still nights I could almost feel the universe breathing. It was a good feeling.
The angel’s hair was gold.
The angel’s sword was silver.
“What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder,” he told me.
Well, here I am.
They say I went crazy when she left me. I never believed them. Sure, I was upset but I wasn’t crazy.
Her last words to me were “You’re nothing. You’re no better than a dog”!
Every night after that, I’d start drinking when the sun went down. Then I’d roam, drunk, around the multiple occupancy we shared with eight other families, howling “NOOO better than a dog”!
I fell into the creeks, got covered in mud, scrabbling up the creek banks like The Creature from the Black Lagoon. The neighbours locked their doors and windows, which bothered me; I was just grieving. After twelve years she was everything to me.
It wasn’t her fault, the break-up. He misled her. She was vulnerable and he knew it — everyone knew it; her so small and fine, looking fragile in her old St Vinnie’s jeans. I should never have taken the job in Murwillumbah: gone at dawn, working twelve-hour days in the bananas, six days a week. Come Sundays I was no good for anything.
Now I know better. It’ll be different next time.
The way I see it, she was lonely with me away all the time, and he was there. Yeah, he was there. And I say to myself — I said it to myself again this morning when I saw them together in the main street — it’s his being there that’s the problem.
If he wasn’t there things’d be just like they used to be. We’d sit in front of the wood stove in the evenings, with the kero lamps burning, listening to the radio, getting up before dawn. Christ, we had everything we wanted! She knows that too. She just doesn’t know how to get free of him. It’s one of her failings: she’s so gentle. She could never be cruel to anyone.
In the early days when I was desperate, I used to dream of burning him out. But there’s no need for that; I see that now. I’m going round to his place tonight while she’s at Golden Beach with The True Viners. I’m taking an iron bar and a rifle. I want to talk to this bloke, make him understand he’s not important, that he just doesn’t figure in the Great Plan for her and me.
If he agrees to leave I’ll put him on the train to Sydney — no hard feelings. If he doesn’t . . . well, I s’pose I’ll think of something.
But I wanted to see her first to get up courage. Sometimes, I don’t know, I get confused. Sometimes, you know, the vision falters. But I’m okay now; I’ve got it all thought out. Then when she comes back to his place in the morning, I’ll surprise her. Hey baby, the nightmare’s over!
Christ, I love being married. Some people, they can’t take it — all the ins and outs, the ups and downs. But when you love someone the way I love Crystal . . .
She depends on me. I won’t let her down.
The angel’s robe was silver.
Was it my heart like lead that called him?
“‘Free her!’ saith the Lord,” he told me.
Lord, here I am
END
DANIELLE DE VALERA’s short stories have appeared in such diverse publications as Penthouse, dotlit and the Women’s Weekly, and are currently in 6 anthologies. In 2011, her full length fiction manuscript A Few Brief Seasons was one of 4 shortlisted for the Byron Bay Writers’ Festival Unpublished Manuscript Award. She has been a manuscript assessor and mentor since 1992, and is listed in the Writers’ Services section of The Australian Writer’s Marketplace.